I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.- Mitch Hedberg

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Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple. - Barry Switzer

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Three things remain with us from paradise: stars, flowers and children. — Dante Alighieri

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Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.

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You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life?

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ur dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.

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Why fit in when you were born to stand out? — Dr. Seuss

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I remember how much - when I was a small boy I was taken to see a version of 'Peter Pan.' I detested it. I mean, the sentimental idea that anybody would want to remain a boy. - Maurice Sendak

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Merely by being born intelligent, you right away find yourself in absolute exile.

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There are four types: the cretin, the imbecile, the stupid and the mad. Normality is a balanced mixture of all four.

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