My mistakes are my life.

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Man is born to live, not to prepare for life.

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The day you die is just like any other, only shorter.

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Any fool can turn a blind eye but who knows what the ostrich sees in the sand.

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I am an American; free born and free bred, where I acknowledge no man as my superior, except for his own worth, or as my inferior, except for his own demerit. ― Theodore Roosevelt

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I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.- Mitch Hedberg

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There are four types: the cretin, the imbecile, the stupid and the mad. Normality is a balanced mixture of all four.

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When a man in a forest thinks he is going forward in a straight line, in reality he is going in a circle, I did my best to go in a circle, hoping to go in a straight line.

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The old endless chain of love, tolerance, indifference, aversion and disgust

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I have my faults, but changing my tune is not one of them.

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