People always clap for the wrong reasons.

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All morons hate it when you call them a moron.

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I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

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You think of the book you'd most like to be reading, and then you sit down and shamelessly write it.

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I have so much I want to tell you, and nowhere to begin.

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The world is full of actors pretending to be human

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Know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly

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The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding.

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I’m just sick of ego, ego, ego. My own and everybody else’s. I’m sick of everybody that wants to get somewhere, do something distinguished and all, be somebody interesting. It’s disgusting.

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Who in the Bible besides Jesus knew--knew--that we're carrying the Kingdom of Heaven around with us, inside, where we're all too goddam stupid and sentimental and unimaginative to look?

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