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Virginia Satir

American Author
Date of Birth : 26 Jun, 1916
Date of Death : 10 Sep, 1988
Place of Birth : Neillsville, Wisconsin, United States
Profession : Author
Nationality : American

Virginia Satir was born in Neillsville, Wisconsin. A bright child with an explosive sense of curiosity, she taught herself how to read at the age of three and recalled wanting to become a detective when she was very young. This early interest in uncovering the truth became a lifelong passion through her therapeutic practice.

Early Years

Virginia Satir was born on 26 June 1916 in Neillsville, Wisconsin. She was the eldest of five children born to Oscar Alfred Reinnard Pagenkopf and Minnie Happe Pagenkopf. When she was five years old, Satir suffered from appendicitis. Her mother, a devout Christian Scientist, refused to take her to a doctor. By the time Satir's father decided to overrule his wife, the young girl's appendix had ruptured. Doctors were able to save her life, but Satir was forced to stay in the hospital for several months.

When Satir was three years old, she taught herself to read and by age nine, she had read all of the books in the library of her small one-room school. From early years, Satir demonstrated an interest in family dynamics. When she was five, she decided that she would grow up to be "a children's detective on parents, inclinations that would later become true through her therapeutic practices." She later explained that "I didn't quite know what I would look for, but I realized a lot went on in families that didn't meet the eye."

In 1929, her mother insisted that the family move from their farm to Milwaukee so that Satir could attend high school. Satir's high school years coincided with the Great Depression, and to help her family she took a part-time job and also attended as many courses as she could so that she could graduate early. In 1932, she received her high school diploma and promptly enrolled in Milwaukee State Teachers College (now University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee.) To pay for her education she worked part-time for the Works Projects Administration and for Gimbels Department Store and further supplemented her income by babysitting. She graduated with a bachelor's degree in education, and worked as a teacher for a few years.

During her time as a schoolteacher, she recognized that involved and supportive parents not only help students in the classroom but could also heal family dynamics. Satir began meeting and cooperating with the parents of her students and saw the family system as a reflection of the world at large, stating "if we can heal the family, we can heal the world".

Beginning in 1937, for three summers she took courses at Northwestern University in Chicago. Her interest in families led her to enroll full-time at the University of Chicago School of Social Services Administration where she obtained a master's degree in social work. She finished her coursework for her master's degree in 1943, and completed her thesis for her degree in 1948.

Process of Change Model

Another of Satir's work that would have lasting impacts on many fields, including organizational management, is the Process of Change model. This model illustrates how individuals go through change and how they can cope with such change to improve their relationship with each other. The Process of Change Model is divided into four stages: late status quo, chaos, practice and integration, and new status quo.

In the first stage of change, the late status quo, Satir argued the individual is in a predictable environment. Status quo involves a set routine, fixed ideas about the world, and an established behavior. This stage is all about predictability and familiarity.

The second stage of change is chaos. Chaos, as described by Satir, occurs when something in the environment or in the individual changes. This change brings a sense of unfamiliarity and the previously stable routine can no longer be held. In the stage of chaos, here are many strong feelings like sadness, fear, confusion, stress, among others. Satir argues that in the change stage of chaos, therapists must help families and individuals navigate these emotions. Additionally, chaos is important because it brings out creativity in individuals to find solutions.

The third stage of change is practice and integration. In this stage new ideas are being implemented and individuals are figuring out what works best. Like any other skill, it requires patience and practice.

The final stage of change is the new status quo. In this stage, the new ideas, behaviors, and changes are not so new anymore. Individuals tend to acclimate to the change, figure out what works, and become better at their new skill.

Satir points out that this change process is not linear. On some occasions, individuals might have found a temporary coping skill or solution, but if it does not bring the desired results, they might regress to the stage of chaos. For this reason, it is important that therapists are aware of this process to help guide their clients.

Career as Author

Satir published her first book, Conjoint Family Therapy, in 1964, developed from the training manual she wrote for students at MRI. Her reputation grew with each subsequent book, and she travelled the world to speak on her methods. She also became a Diplomate of the Academy of Certified Social Workers and received the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy's Distinguished Service Award.

Satir often integrated meditations and poetic writing into both her public workshops and writings. One of her most well-known works, "I Am Me," was written by Satir in response to a question posed by an angry teenage girl.

Quotes

Total 50 Quotes
I want to love you without clutching, appreciate you without judging, join you without invading, invite you without demanding, leave you without guilt, criticize you without blaming, and help you without insulting. If I can have the same from you, then we can truly meet and enrich each other.
We get together on the basis of our similarities; we grow on the basis of our differences.
There are five freedoms: The freedom to see and hear what is; The freedom to say what you feel and think; The freedom to feel what you actually feel; The freedom to ask for what you want; The freedom to take risks on your own behalf.
Life is not what it's supposed to be. It's what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.
I want you to get excited about who you are, what you are, what you have, and what can still be for you. I want to inspire you to see that you can go far beyond where you are right now.
Communication is to relationships what breath is to life.
Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible - the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.
We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us.
Your responses to the events of life are more important than the events themselves.
We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.