The best way to enjoy your job is to imagine yourself without one.

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Be yourself; everyone else is taken.

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Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it.

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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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A pessimist is somebody who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.

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Conformity is the last refuge of the unimaginitive.

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Life is too short to be taken seriously.

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There are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life, fully, entirely, completely-or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands.

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I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

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An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be.

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