Because you are alive, everything is possible. ― Thich Nhat Hanh

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Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.- Mitch Hedberg

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We are surrounded by adversity but we shall triumph because we have a greater spirit. ― Lailah Gifty Akita

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Treat everyone with politeness and kindness, not because they’re nice, but because you are. – Roy T. Bennett

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I do not pretend to be able to prove that there is no God. I equally cannot prove that Satan is a fiction. The Christian god may exist; so may the gods of Olympus, or of ancient Egypt, or of Babylon. But no one of these hypotheses is more probable than any other: they lie outside the region of even probable knowledge, and therefore there is no reason to consider any of them.” ― Bertrand Russell

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I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.- Mitch Hedberg

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Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.- Frank Zappa

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You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.- Mitch Hedberg

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But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. -William Butler Yeats

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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg

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