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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!- Mitch Hedberg

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As Peter Bogdanovich would say of Paper Moon: Ryan's wonderful in it, and he sat there and watched the kid steal the picture. - Tatum O'Neal
I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.- Mitch Hedberg
I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.- Mitch Hedberg
Read, read, read. Read everything -- trash, classics, good and bad, and see how they do it. Just like a carpenter who works as an apprentice and studies the master. Read! You'll absorb it. Then write. If it's good, you'll find out. If it's not, throw it out of the window.
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.- Mitch Hedberg
I used to have a sign pinned up on my wall that read: Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us...It was all about letting go of everything. ― Pema Chodron
The man who does not read books has no advantage over the one who cannot read them. — Mark Twain
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.- Mitch Hedberg
The more you read, the more things you'll know, the more that you learn, the more places you'll go ― Dr. Suess
I live in Surrey, but up until the age of eight I lived in London. And the way I heard about this 'Peter Pan' film was there was an open-call audition that I'd heard about, or read about, and I just thought, 'Oh, I'll go along for the fun.' Because I never dreamed in a million years I'd ever get it. - Rachel Hurd-Wood