I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg

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LORD strengthen me where I am too weak and weaken me where I am too strong!

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I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.- Mitch Hedberg

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You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.- Mitch Hedberg

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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.- Mitch Hedberg

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Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.

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willingness to explore everything is a sign of strength. The weak ones have prejudices. Prejudices are a protection.

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I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.- Mitch Hedberg

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I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.- Mitch Hedberg

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I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.- Mitch Hedberg

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