I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.- Mitch Hedberg

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whatever you think that you will be. if you think yourself weak, weak you will be; if you think yourself strong,you will be

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You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.- Mitch Hedberg

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Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!- Mitch Hedberg

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Weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who forces his actions to control his thoughts.

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The weak are cruel. The strong have no need to be.

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I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.- Mitch Hedberg

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I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. -Mitch Hedberg

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I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.- Mitch Hedberg

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Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable.

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