I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.- Mitch Hedberg

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The more one is hated, I find, the happier one is.

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We have a memory cut in pieces. And I write trying to recover our real memory, the memory of humankind, what I call the human rainbow, which is much more colorful and beautiful than the other one, the other rainbow.- Eduardo Galeano

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I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.- Mitch Hedberg

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You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.- Mitch Hedberg

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Inuyasha' is one of my favorite animes.- Megan Thee Stallion

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Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.- Mitch Hedberg

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I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.- Mitch Hedberg

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Being a candle is difficult because one must first burn in order to emit light. ― Shree Shambav

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Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down. -Mitch Hedberg

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