Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, there's nothing you can do. -Golda Meir

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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.- Mitch Hedberg

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My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.- Mitch Hedberg

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Do what is true to your soul. — Malini Saba

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The aim of psychoanalysis is to relieve people of their neurotic unhappiness so that they can be normally unhappy.

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To be a woman is a great adventure; To drive men mad is a heroic thing.

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I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.- Mitch Hedberg

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Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. — Oprah Winfrey

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Mad I call it, for to define true madness, what is't to be nothing else but mad?

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Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ― Mahatma Gandhi

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