I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg

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There are four types: the cretin, the imbecile, the stupid and the mad. Normality is a balanced mixture of all four.

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Mad I call it, for to define true madness, what is't to be nothing else but mad?

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Do what you have to do until you can do what you want to do. — Oprah Winfrey

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You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.- Mitch Hedberg

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I could feel my anger dissipating as the miles went by--you can't run and stay mad!

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I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring.- Mitch Hedberg

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Growth and comfort do not coexist. — Ginni Rometty

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People who try hard to do the right thing always seem mad.

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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.- Mitch Hedberg

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