Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. - Terry Pratchett

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There is no such thing as 'too late' in life.

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Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.- Mitch Hedberg

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I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.- Mitch Hedberg

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There's magic in the water that draws all men away form the land, that leads them over hills, down creeks and streams and rivers to the sea.

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How did it get so late so soon? ― Dr. Seuss

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How did it get so late so soon? ― Dr. Seuss

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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later. -Mitch Hedberg

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I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.- Mitch Hedberg

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I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me. -Mitch Hedberg

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