I think being able to age gracefully is a very important talent. It is too late for me. -Clint Eastwood

---

The greatest tragedy in life is to spend your whole life fishing only to discover it was never fish that you were after. ― Henry David Thoreau

---

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.- Mitch Hedberg

---

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. - Terry Pratchett

---

Your passion is waiting for your courage to catch up. — Isabelle Lafleche

---

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!- Mitch Hedberg

---

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. -Mitch Hedberg

---

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake.- Mitch Hedberg

---

You’re all about the chase but you won’t ever let me catch you. – Morgan Wallen

---

There's magic in the water that draws all men away form the land, that leads them over hills, down creeks and streams and rivers to the sea.

---