I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. -Rodney Dangerfield

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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. -Rodney Dangerfield

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I enjoyed working with Peter, I was very pleased when I heard he was going to be the Doctor. - Sarah Sutton

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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. -Rodney Dangerfield

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Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included.

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But, Doctor, I'm not ill. Good God! I've told you everything". Again his fixed his eyes on mine and stopped me, his voice full of resolve. "You are ill. It is the fate we all share since the birth of psychoanalysis

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I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. -Rodney Dangerfield

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I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. -Winston Churchill

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Pick a leader who is strong and confident, yet humble. Intelligent, but not sly. A leader who encourages diversity, not racism. One who understands the needs of the farmer, the teacher, the welder, the doctor, and the environmentalist -- not only the banker, the oil tycoon, the weapons developer, or the insurance and pharmaceutical lobbyist. ― Suzy Kassem

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