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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

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I've always seen first responders as unsung heroes and very special people because, when everyone else is running away from danger, they run into it.- Dwayne Johnson
I am called a dog because I fawn on those who give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse, and I set my teeth in rascals. -Diogenes
Nothing is more important than stopping fascism, because fascism is gonna stop us all. ― Fred Hampton
Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.- Frank Zappa
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long. ― Joseph Heller
You don’t stop laughing because you grow older. You grow older because you stop laughing. – Maurice Chevalier
Having the positive belief that it will all be OK just means that you hustle and make it work because failure is not even an option in your own mind. — Natalie Massenet
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you. ― Kurt Cobain
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin