More Quotes
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it. - George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. - George Carlin
Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. - George Carlin
Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. - George Carlin
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin
If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. - George Carlin
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin
