Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

---

Soon, when all is well, you're going to look back on this period of your life and be so glad that you never gave up.— Brittany Burgunder

---

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. - George Carlin

---

I think Ronald Reagan was one of the great presidents, period, not just recently. I thought he had the demeanor. I thought he had the bearing. I thought he had the thought process.- Donald Trump

---

Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. - George Carlin

---

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin

---

When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? - George Carlin

---

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. - George Carlin

---

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. George Carlin

---

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

---