More Quotes
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it. - George Carlin
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. - George Carlin
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories. - George Carlin
When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. - George Carlin
Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. - George Carlin
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. — George Carlin
When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day? - George Carlin
