Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin

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The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other’s life. – Richard Bach

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You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. - George Carlin

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People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think. - George Carlin

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The strength of a family, like the strength of an army, lies in its loyalty to each other. – Mario Puzo

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A happy family is but an earlier heaven. - George Bernard Shaw

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It didn’t matter how big our house was; it mattered that there was love in it. — Peter Buffett

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For a meal out, my number one restaurant is Peter's Inn. I first went there when it was an old biker bar. Believe me, when it was Motorcycle Pete's, that was fun. I had my 30th birthday there. - John Waters

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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. - George Carlin

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Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

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