More Quotes
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. - George Carlin
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin
I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. - George Carlin
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? - George Carlin
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. — George Carlin
The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. - George Carlin
Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. - George Carlin
I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it. - George Carlin
