Where do I get my ideas from? You might as well have asked that of Beethoven. He was goofing around in Germany like everybody else, and all of a sudden this stuff came gushing out of him. It was music. I was goofing around like everybody else in Indiana, and all of a sudden stuff came gushing out. It was disgust with civilization.

---

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

---

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

---

Nietzsche had a little one-liner on how to choose a wife. He said, ''Are you willing to have a conversation with this woman for the next forty years?'' That's how to pick a wife.

---

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

---

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved. Kurt Vonnegut

---

A lack of seriousness has led to all sorts of wonderful insights.

---

For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course, that's Moses, not Jesus. I haven't heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. "Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom? "Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break!

---

Take life seriously but none of the people in it.

---

I'm a doctor of cowshit, pigshit, and chickenshit.....when you doctors figure out what you want, you'll find me out in the barn shoveling my thesis.

---