I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. ― Steven Wright

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I definitely got to a point where I realize how unusual it is to be able to play large, sold-out shows 30 years into a rock and roll career. I don't take it for granted.

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Let us keep enough money to enjoy each breath we take, but definitely not too much, if we don’t want to spoil the fragrance of our dreams and the poem of life. ― Erik Pevernagie

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If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? ― Steven Wright

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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. ― Steven Wright

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I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you. — Oprah Winfrey

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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had. ― Steven Wright

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It is better to fail in originality than to succeed in imitation. — Herman Melville

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Successful people are not gifted; they just work hard, then succeed on purpose. — G.K. Nielson

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I definitely wanna open up some definitely -living facilities around my city. -Megan Thee Stallion

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