I don’t think there’s an option for me to fall in love slowly, or at medium speed. I either do or I don’t.

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Speed is irrelevant if you are going in the wrong direction.

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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had. ― Steven Wright

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Life's single lesson: that there is more accident to it than a man can ever admit to in a lifetime and stay sane.

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If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? ― Steven Wright

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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? ― Steven Wright

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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film. ― Steven Wright

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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. ― Steven Wright

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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. ― Steven Wright

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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. ― Steven Wright

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