I'm free of all prejudices. I hate all people equally. ― W.C. Fields

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What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? ― W. C. Fields

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Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you? ― W.C. Fields

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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. ― W.C. Fields

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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother. ― W.C. Fields

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Drowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting? ― W.C. Fields

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You can be born in a fucking sewer and still be the baddest motherfucker on earth. ― David Goggins

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Just like my Uncle Charlie used to say, just before he sprung the trap: He said, "You can't cheat and honest man! Never give a sucker an even break or smarten up a chump! ― W. C. Fields

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Ain't fit for man nor beast ― W.C. Fields

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Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again. ― W. C. Fields

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