Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night ― W.C. Fields

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Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you? ― W.C. Fields

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I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother. ― W.C. Fields

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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia ― W.C. Fields

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Ain't fit for man nor beast ― W.C. Fields

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Drowned in a vat of whiskey... Oh Death, where is thy sting? ― W.C. Fields

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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. ― W.C. Fields

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. ― W.C. Fields

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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate all people equally. ― W.C. Fields

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Never give a sucker an even break. ― W.C. Fields

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