What contemptible scoundrel stole the cork from my lunch? ― W. C. Fields

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I'm free of all prejudices. I hate all people equally. ― W.C. Fields

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When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty. ― W. C. Fields

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If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon. ― W.C. Fields

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Never give a sucker an even break. ― W.C. Fields

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All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia ― W.C. Fields

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Children should neither be seen nor heard from – ever again. ― W. C. Fields

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Don't be a luddy-duddy! Don't be a mooncalf! Don't be a jabbernowl! You're not those, are you? ― W.C. Fields

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. ― W.C. Fields

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Here lies W.C.Fields. I'd rather be living in Philadelphia. ― W.C. Fields

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