Thanksgiving is for real Americans not Indians. We founded this Christian nation. Why if it wasn’t for the God-fearing pilgrims, the natives would still be running around in loin cloths shooting at things with their arrows.

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Rain is something the democrats use to sell umbrellas.

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The people don't elect U.S. presidents, God does.

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What does the vice president do?

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You either get free stuff or you get freedom. You cannot have both and you need to make a choice.

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I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick.

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Hope is not a strategy.

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I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals — right next to the mashed potatoes.

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How do you know there’s not a door to heaven in the sky between Malaysia and Vietnam?

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He who cannot remember the past is condemned to remember the past. Or something.

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