I hope they have ghost insurance.” “Pretty sure you've used that joke before,” Stacey told me. “Well, maybe Jacob hadn't heard it yet.” “I have,” Jacob said. ― J.L. Bryan

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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

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By the way, did you ever realize that if Moses would have turned right instead of left, we'd have had the oil, the Arabs would have had the sand?

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I drink to make other people more interesting.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.

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Kids who have no interest in books are usually from slob parents who themselves had no interest in books. ― Dr. Seuss

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One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.

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Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices. - Voltaire

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.- Dr. Seuss

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