A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

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If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything. - Marilyn Monroe

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I hope they have ghost insurance.” “Pretty sure you've used that joke before,” Stacey told me. “Well, maybe Jacob hadn't heard it yet.” “I have,” Jacob said. ― J.L. Bryan

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If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter. -- George Washington

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Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin. ― John Green

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The idea of freedom is inspiring. But what does it mean? If you are free in a political sense but have no food, what’s that? The freedom to starve? — Angela Davis

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Many are stubborn in pursuit of the path they have chosen, few in pursuit of the goal. ― Friedrich Nietzsche

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What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?

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Time is what prevents everything from happening at once. — John Archibald Wheeler

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A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. Denis Waitley

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