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Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Inspirational
Life
Marriage
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Birthday
Friday
Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Mean
Survival
World
Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
DentalWork
Teeth
The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Doors
Mind
Pressure
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
News
Eras
WrongPerson
God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
God
Wisdom
Silly
Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Cousin
Science
May
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Humor
Men
Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Sports
Clever
Psychology
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Relationship
Marriage
FunnyBirthday
Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Wind
Tree
Branches
No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Children
Fun
Done
Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration camp for the duration. How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don't have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Lying
Mean
Acceptance
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Happiness
Happy
One thing about the past. It's likely to last.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Past
Lasts
OneThing
Indeed, everybody wants to be a wow, But not everybody knows exactly how.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Want
Wow
Knows
If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Funny
Money
Crazy
The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Dog
Tests
States
Too much Chablis can make you whablis.
― Ogden Nash
Ogden Nash
Wine
TooMuch
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