Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

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I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.

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Abracadabra, thus we learn The more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you're given, The less you lead, the more you're driven, The more destroyed, the more they feed, The more you pay, the more they need, The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.

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When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.

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There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.

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Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.

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Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

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