Some primal termite knocked on wood. And tasted it, and found it good. And that is why your Cousin May Fell through the parlor floor today.

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Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.

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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw

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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

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O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

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No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.

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Abracadabra, thus we learn The more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you're given, The less you lead, the more you're driven, The more destroyed, the more they feed, The more you pay, the more they need, The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.

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Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

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