Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

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Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.

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I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

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There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

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Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

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So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little incompatibility is the spice of life Particularly if he has income and she is pattable.

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Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

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If called by a panther, don't anther.

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The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

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