There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

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I think that I shall never see A billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

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God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

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Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

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Time is like the ocean, always there, always different.

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Abracadabra, thus we learn The more you create, the less you earn. The less you earn, the more you're given, The less you lead, the more you're driven, The more destroyed, the more they feed, The more you pay, the more they need, The more you earn, the less you keep, And now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to take If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.

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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.

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Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

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