There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.

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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

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Too much Chablis can make you whablis.

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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

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Tonight's December thirty-first, something is about to burst. The clock is crouching, dark and small, like a time bomb in the hall. Hark, it's midnight, children dear. Duck! Here comes another year!

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Celery, raw, Develops the jaw

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The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

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The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

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