Humor is the best means of surviving in a difficult world.

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Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

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The camel has a single hump, The dromedary, two; Or else the other way around; I'm never sure. Are you?

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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

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Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.

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The truth I do not stretch or shove When I state the dog is full of love. I've also proved, by actual test, A wet dog is the lovingest.

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How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

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The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

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No, you never get any fun Out of the things you haven't done.

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