O money, money, money. I'm not necessarily one of those who think thee holy, but I often stop to wonder how thou canst go out so fast when thou comest in so slowly.

---

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing.

---

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

---

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

---

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

---

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

---

God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

---

Winter is the king of showmen, Turning tree stumps into snowmen And houses into birthday cakes And spreading sugar over lakes. Smooth and clean and frosty white, The world looks good enough to bite. That’s the season to be young, Catching snowflakes on your tongue. Snow is snowy when it’s snowing, I’m sorry it’s slushy when it’s going.

---

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

---

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

---