God in His wisdom made the fly And then forgot to tell us why.

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How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

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All husbands are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.

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To love is an active verb.

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I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

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There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

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If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

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Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

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Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

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