A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

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Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

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The cow is of the bovine ilk: One end is moo, the other, milk.

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People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

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There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.

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I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

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I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

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Wind is caused by the trees waving their branches.

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Here's a good rule of thumb; too clever is dumb.

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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

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