Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!

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What people commonly call fate is mostly their own stupidity

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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I don't use my body to seduce, no. I just stand there.

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Senescence begins And middle-age ends The day your descendants Outnumber your friends

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The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

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Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. — Robert Orben

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Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. — Thomas A. Edison

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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Democracy means simply the bludgeoning of the people by the people for the people. — Oscar Wilde

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