I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

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I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

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The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

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