The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

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If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

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There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back

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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

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