Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

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There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

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The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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