Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

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After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

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