Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

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The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

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The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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