Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

---

Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.

---

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

---

I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

---

The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

---

The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

---

America has the best politicians money can buy.

---

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.

---

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

---

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

---