I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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America has the best politicians money can buy.

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We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

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If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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