Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.

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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.

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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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I remember when being liberal meant being generous with your own money.

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