We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

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There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

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The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back

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