The man who never makes a mistake must get tired of doing nothing.

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Ignorance lies not in the things you don't know, but in the things you know that ain't so.

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There are men running governments who shouldn't be allowed to play with matches.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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The problem in America isn't so much what people don't know; the problem is what people think they know that just ain't so.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back

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