If America ever passes out as a great nation, we ought to put on our tombstone: America died from a delusion she had Moral Leadership.

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Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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I would love to see Mr. (Henry) Ford in there, really. I don't know who started the idea that a President must be a Politician instead of a Business man. A Politician can't run any other kind of business. So there is no reason why he can run the U.S. That's the biggest single business in the World.

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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf."

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America has the best politicians money can buy.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

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Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

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I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

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Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.

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