I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. ― Steven Wright

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The greatest tragedy in life is to spend your whole life fishing only to discover it was never fish that you were after. ― Henry David Thoreau

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If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny. ― steven wright

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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film. ― Steven Wright

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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. ― Steven Wright

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There's magic in the water that draws all men away form the land, that leads them over hills, down creeks and streams and rivers to the sea.

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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. ― Steven Wright

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When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing. ― Steven Wright

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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. ― Steven Wright

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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. ― Steven Wright

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