I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. ― Steven Wright

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The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had. ― Steven Wright

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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. ― Steven Wright

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If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? ― Steven Wright

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When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. ― Steven Wright

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I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything. ― Steven Wright

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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. ― Steven Wright

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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. ― Steven Wright

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Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. ― Steven Wright

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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film. ― Steven Wright

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