If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny. ― steven wright

---

Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film. ― Steven Wright

---

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. ― Steven Wright

---

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room. ― Steven Wright

---

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. ― Steven Wright

---

The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had. ― Steven Wright

---

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing. ― Steven Wright

---

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. ― Steven Wright

---

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong? ― Steven Wright

---

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before. ― Steven Wright

---