Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

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The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

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Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

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There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.

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It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

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The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

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Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.

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There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

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A never-failing way to get rid of a fellow is to tell him something for his own good.

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Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

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