Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. - Steven Wright

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One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute.

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For truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

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Anyone who has the power to make you believe absurdities has the power to make you commit injustices.

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Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil! -Golda Meir

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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

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I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed man.

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The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

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