Polls? Nah... they're for strippers and cross country skiers.

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What does the vice president do?

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As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where – where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border.

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Rain is something the democrats use to sell umbrellas.

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If any vegans came over for dinner, I could whip them up a salad, then explain my philosophy on being a carnivore: If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?

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Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.

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We say keep your change, we'll keep our God, our guns, our constitution.

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I always remind people from outside our state that there’s plenty of room for all Alaska’s animals — right next to the mashed potatoes.

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I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick.

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Only dead fish go with the flow.

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