The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. ― Helen Keller

---

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

---

If you're horrible to me, I'm going to write a song about it, and you won't like it. That's how I operate.

---

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

---

And some people say Jesus wasn't Jewish. Of COURSE he was Jewish! 30 years old, single, lives with his parents, come on! He works in his father's business, his mom thought he was God's gift, he's Jewish! Give it up! ― Robin Williams

---

I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. — Thomas A. Edison

---

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

---

A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he's not very bright.

---

This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.

---

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. - Bill Maher

---