I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. — Will Rogers

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Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.

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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

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A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. — Denis Waitley

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The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

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The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble.

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Some people pay a compliment as if they expected a receipt.

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There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the gunpowder jar. There was a young man of Herne Bay.

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