More Quotes by Tina Fey
Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.
Whatever the problem - be part of the solution
If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important Rule of Beauty. “Who cares?”
Life is improvisation.
Start with a 'Yes', and see where that takes you.
Sometimes if you have a difficult decisin to make, just stall until the answer presents itself.
If you ever start to feel good about yourself... .... they have this thing called the internet.
A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.
Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion.
Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.
