You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.

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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.

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Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.

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Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn't get to be.

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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

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You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

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To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

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Whatever the problem - be part of the solution

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You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

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Don't waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions... Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

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