Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.

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There are no mistakes only opportunities.

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Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.

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You go through big chunks of time where you're just thinking, 'this is impossible - oh,this is impossible'. And then you just keep going and keep going, and you sort of do the impossible.

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Whatever the problem - be part of the solution

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You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.

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Just say yes and you'll figure it out afterwards.

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A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

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If you ever start to feel good about yourself... .... they have this thing called the internet.

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To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.

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